Introduction
Wondering if you’re plural?
Maybe you’re here because you heard a warm voice somewhere in the back of your head. Maybe you’ve been seeing something that you seem to have written but have no memory of writing. Maybe you’re here because a friend encouraged you to talk to the corner of your mind that loves you. Maybe you’ve been engrossed in an imaginary world that you’re outlining on the page, and bam! there’s 8,000 words on the screen and your fingers hurt. Maybe you got sent this after saying “part of me thinks…” to your plural friend too many times.
Don't be alarmed!
The Constant Companion Handbook is, well, here.
The truth is, plurality isn’t going to be something that will radically change who you are.
In this handbook, we’ll talk about the process of selves awareness and syscovery (system discovery), as well as understanding how you can better coordinate with your selves; how you can build better self-love, and answer some burning questions. Does this even apply to me? What is being More than One all about? How does all of this work? Why does this all seem so scary? How do I switch intentionally? How do I navigate the world after being selves-aware?
Plurality isn’t something that will radically change who you are. Unlike transition, or changing your gender (or gender presentation), the big changes with plurality come with self-perception.
If you’re plural, understand that plurality, as a framework and a state of being, will not change who you are much — but you’ll learn to see who you are much more clearly.
If you’re not plural — then treat this guide as a way for you to practice more mindfulness. A lot of the exercises — in listening to yourself, in building a safe imaginary space for you to retreat to — are useful for singlets too! And we do hope that you get a greater sense of how folk that are plural live their lives.
So, a requisite disclaimer:
We’re not professionals. Plural community will often help you find appropriate professionals if you experience any of the more serious things that we’ll outline, maybe, and that also depends heavily on where you live and your jurisdiction.
We’re also writing about plurality mostly through a transgender (mostly transfeminine-heavy) lens. To us, adopting this framework of mind — one that helps explain a lot about how memory, self and identity works — won’t immediately resolve issues.
If you have a part that constantly hurts the body, or lashes out, or often takes over and causes damage, and if you have a part that you find that’s constantly in conflict with each other, this framework will not be an immediate salve. In effect, you might find that things get worse before they get better.
This isn't us discouraging you from seeking the rest of your selves. You have to work with each other in order to heal from what you've gone through in the past; this framework will help with that. This is ultimately a tool for communication between selves, and it's important to keep that in mind.
We'd be remiss to add that there's quite a bit of whole of brain issues that won't be solved here. If you think you have ADHD, the whole system likely suffers from ADHD, to various degrees. Same goes if you have autism or are neurodivergent.
It’s also important to note that this process is not for people who are in physically and psychologically unsafe situations. If you’re living with family that’s unwelcome of your existence — especially if you’re a trans person — being selves-aware might be difficult especially if part of you is there to help you survive.
We’re also going to talk about some rather contentious topics in this guide. Some that come to mind include instances of self-harm and suicidal ideation, eating disorders, addiction and drug use, and others.
Please take care when you read this.
With that, we begin!